


loving you is easy

by kinneyb



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-14 00:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18042347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinneyb/pseuds/kinneyb
Summary: Not-Eliot sexually assaults Quentin while the monster has control of his body. Eliot feels guilty even after he's been saved, but Quentin is having none of that. He deserves to be happy now more than ever, and that means having Eliot in his life.





	loving you is easy

**Author's Note:**

> the sexual assault isn't super detailed but could still be triggering please keep that in mind!  
> also if u love the magicians and these two boys in particular please feel free to follow me on twitter @queermight cause i have like no the magicians mutuals and i'm lonely
> 
> ★ please follow me on twitter @ queermight & check out my pinned tweet! ★

_Quentin knows this isn't Eliot, so he knows begging is stupid, but it's an instinct and the words claw up his throat anyway._

_"Please," he says. He struggles against Eliot's (though not really) hands, wrapped tightly around his throat. "Stop."_

_But he isn't threatening Eliot's body this time, so he's at a loss for words or threats. The smile that blooms across Eliot's face is sickening, and looks so, so wrong. Quentin almost laughs. Eliot would never smile at him like that._

_"You just will not give up on this Eliot person," Not-Eliot says._

_Quentin can barely breathe, but he manages to say, "you're right about that, fucker."_

_And it's the truth. Quentin isn't sure about many things right now, but he knows he will not rest until Eliot is safe and back in his arms._

_Okay, the second part isn't a guarantee but a man can dream, right?_

_"Well," Not-Eliot steps closer, and Quentin can't help instinctively glancing down at their touching chests. He's been here, in this exact situation, with Eliot before but under, you know, consenting circumstances. He lifts his head, glaring at the monster. "We'll just have to fix this problem, won't we?"_

_Eliot's hands - hands Quentin are fairly familiar with - start to drop from his neck. But they don't go away, no, they just start on a different course. Quentin is stiff, can barely breathe, as Not-Eliot's hands move over his ribs and then stop at the curve of his ass. He's grinning again, and Quentin feels like he's going to be sick._

_"Do not," Quentin threatens. He can't move; the monster is keeping him in place. He wants to scream, but he's afraid of what someone might do if they see this._

_He can't risk Eliot's body getting hurt. Not now, not ever._

_"You want to call for help," Not-Eliot singsongs, "but you won't."_

_Quentin looks away._

_"It's okay," Not-Eliot says in a soft voice. His hands finally drop lower. "It'll be fun."_

/

When they finally defeat the monster and save Eliot, it's supposed to be a happy thing. And it is for the most part. Margo runs over to Eliot and hugs him so, so tight. Eliot is smiling, but it's sad and doesn't quite reach his eyes.

He hugs Margo back, though, because of course he does. 

Then the inevitable happens, and Eliot looks at Quentin. His eyes are dark. 

"Don't," Quentin says wetly. He steps forward, pushes back the memories of that night. "Please just hug me."

Eliot smiles sadly again, but he does exactly that: they hug for a long, long time. When Quentin finally pulls away, he smiles up at the other. Eliot opens his mouth like he's in a hurry to say something, but Quentin interrupts. He grasps Eliot's hand and takes a step back. "We did it."

Julia is smiling sweetly. She hugs Quentin. "We did it," she repeats.

/

Quentin is pretty sure he's in love with Eliot. He thinks about Alice and how being with her made him feel, but honestly... it's kind of lackluster compared to the fire he feels in his chest, his stomach every time he sees Eliot. It's overwhelming.

But Eliot won't even look at Quentin most days nevertheless talk to him seriously about this. About how much Quentin wants to be happy for once in his stupid fucking life. He wants Eliot.

Quentin is just so, so tired of waiting and hoping. He finally gets up the courage to confront Eliot one night. 

"Can we just," Eliot sighs heavily. He's avoiding eye contact. "Can we do this later?"

Quentin steps closer. He can see the way Eliot stiffens, like he's afraid to even move with Quentin so close. He smiles sadly. "Please," he says. "Can you just look at me, Eliot?"

Slowly, Eliot turns his head. "I'm so sorry," his voice cracks. "I'm so, so sorry - "

"Stop," Quentin reaches up, snaking his arms around Eliot's neck. Eliot takes a deep breath, holds it. "You are not the one who did that," he says, a confidence in his voice that surprises even him. "You would never do that," he continues. He pulls Eliot down and rests his forehead against Eliot's cheek. "And I do not blame you."

"I..." Eliot slowly puts a hand on Quentin's back. "I turned you down that time."

Quentin laughs. He lowers his head, burying his face in Eliot's shoulder. "Yeah, you did. I was fucking embarrassed, you ass."

"I wanted to say yes," Eliot continues after a moment. His voice is so soft, quiet - Quentin can barely hear him. "But I was scared. I'm always scared."

Quentin nods against his shoulder. "I know," he whispers. "But my feelings haven't changed."

Eliot sounds like he's crying now, but Quentin respects his privacy and doesn't look. He just shifts his head, burying his face in the crook of Eliot's neck. He smells like alcohol mixed with something minty. 

"I want to give us a try," Eliot whispers back. 

Quentin pulls away. Eliot blinks rapidly a few times as if he can just blink away any evidence of him crying. Quentin smiles, reaching up to wipe them away with the sleeve of his sweater. "Okay," he says. "Let's do it, then."

"Can I kiss you?" Eliot asks.

Quentin leans up on his tip-toes. "Yes," he breaths.

The kiss is gentle and loving, and Quentin feels so overwhelmed with love for the first time in a long time. When they separate, he smiles shakily. "I love you, Eliot."

"I," Eliot swallows the lump in his throat. He hugs Quentin and buries his face in his hair. "I love you, too."


End file.
